If the title is silly, I must hope to be always sensible of it: P&P #5

Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star by Heather Lynn Rigaud

I am in the middle of Death Comes to Pemberley, which I thought was going to be my second P&P challenge write-up, but I got distracted by looking up other P&P adaptations and read a slew of teen (I won't call them Young Adult) versions instead. I thought that this book was also a teen romance based on the title and cover image.^*

Boy, was I wrong.

Firstly, the book is quite a bit better than its title. Secondly, it's pretty long -- about 600 pages, which is well over the usual YA limit. Thirdly? There is some decidedly adult content in there. I probably should have paid closer attention to the tag line.

Image source: www.goodreads.com

Full disclosure: I occasionally read romance novels. They are my guilty pleasure, like corn chips for the brain. I generally prefer the ones with "feisty" heroines because it usually means good banter. So I am qualified to review this book. FDRS is a full-blown romance novel of the sizzling variety. The sex scenes, and there are many, lie closer to "graphic" than merely "steamy," and there is Language. They are fairly well written and realistic; no gag-inducing body-part names or physically impossible contortions. Every one gets a Happily Ever After, in every sense of the term, because that is the rule of the romance novel. It's all fairly predictable but fun.

An overly-long prologue explains, Behind The Music-style, that Fitzwilliam Darcy is the guitarist in super-successful rock band called Slurry, with his friend, lead singer/bassist Charles Bingley, and his cousin, drummer Richard Fitzwilliam. They need a new opening act, fast. Enter Long Borne Suffering, with guitarist/singer Elizabeth Bennet, her sister, keyboardist/bassist Jane, and friend and drummer Charlotte Lucas. Let the pairings begin.

In this version, Collins is a smarmy record exec. Caro Bingley is Slurry's manager. She carries a torch for Will, but she's actually a nice person. George Wickham used to be the lead singer for Slurry, but left under cloudy circumstances and now directs music videos. And Anne de Bourgh always seems to be in a bad mood.

On the whole, I thought this book was cleverly done. It is sprinkled with shout-outs to the source -- the names of the bands, Long Borne Suffering's first album First Impressions, and names of places and minor characters. It's fairly well thought-out. The reasons keeping Elizabeth and Will apart, despite their mutual attraction, are realistic. Will comes off as very arrogant and controlling every time he talks to Elizabeth, while he is more and more impressed by her talent, drive, and intelligence. When they do hook up, he wants her to move in and start forever immediately. It's too much, too soon, she runs away, and he's hurt. And retaliates through his music. Which breaks up Jane and Charles in the process. Why do Jane and Charles stay apart? Well, he has a pretty good reason for disappearing, and she has a pretty good reason for being upset with him. And he gets rightfully angry with Darcy for his actions. Afterward, he does try to apologize to Jane, but she's the one who says thanks but no thanks. He keeps trying, though, and the reconciliation is also well done - very little in the eye-roll-inducing department.

So on the whole, it's a pretty good book, but. The pacing is a bit off. It is too long -- another fanfic that could have used quite a bit of editing.^** There are too many love stories going on at once and a few too many minor plot points that don't seem to lead anywhere. And the ending... well. Ridiculously long epilogue aside, the ending is quite satisfying, except for one thing: the Wickham scandal happens at the end. It's supposed to be happen just as it looks like Darcy and Elizabeth are reconciling, but it breaks them apart and is the catalyst for Elizabeth realizing her feelings for Darcy, just when she thinks she's lost him forever. In this version, I thought I knew what the scandal was going to be, but it turned out to be something quite different. At the time, I said "Oh, that's a neat idea," but then... well. It happens after Will and Elizabeth say they love each other. They're already pretty sure of themselves. And the situation resolves itself without Darcy's help. I didn't really see the point, plot-wise, other than to wrap up the Wickham storyline. And now I feel like I've been cheated. They spent quite a bit of time setting up one part of Wickham's character, only to have the scandal be a completely different thing.

To be fair, these are thoughts I had after I finished the book. My overall impression is positive. It does a mostly good job modernizing the P&P setting, but you'll find yourself skimming parts of it. And the ending ...

"I mean, the three members of a girl group marrying the three members of a rock band. That just sounds so hokey. If you tried to sell our story to a movie studio, they’d just laugh."

Indeed.

Next month I will try to review something with a little more erudition. Like zombies.

^*The DC thinks it's a great title, but I thought it was a bit silly and obviously geared to teens. On further reflection, that would be geared to teens in the 1980s or 90s. Is anyone a rock star these days?

^**I am completely aware of the irony of my complaining about books that need editing. It takes one to know one.