In which PhysicsGirl takes a dive into teen romance: P&P #2-4

Epic Fail by Claire LaZebnik, Prom and Prejudice by Elizabeth Eulberg, & Pride and Popularity by Jenni James.

My dad, who was a huge Austenite, and I used to have mild arguments about the movie You've Got Mail. He claimed that it was ultimately a version of Pride and Prejudice^*, but I said that a mere girl-meets-boy, girl-hates-boy, boy-eventually-wins-girl-over plot isn't enough to make it a true P&P adaptation. We agreed to disagree about this, but I do feel that to be considered a P&P spin-off (as opposed to a rip-off), you need to stay true to the intent of the book.

Since I will be reviewing several so-called spin-offs, I will clarify. Whatever the setting, to be a true P&P spin-off, one needs to hit most of the following points:

Elizabeth meets Darcy and is turned off by his arrogance. He, however, gradually falls for her wit and playfulness. We know this, but Elizabeth doesn't.

Jane and Bingley meet. He falls for her sweetness and beauty, and she falls hard for him.

Elizabeth meets Mr. Collins and Wickham. Mr. Collins is a boor, but Wickham is charming.

Wickham and Darcy have a past, and Wickham tells Elizabeth his he-done-me-wrong tale. She dislikes Darcy more than ever.

Due to some kind of misunderstanding, Bingley leaves Jane and she is heart-broken. Darcy also leaves.

Collins makes an unwelcome proposal to Elizabeth. She refuses, and he is accepted by Charlotte.

Wickham leaves, and Elizabeth finds that she doesn't really care.

Elizabeth finds out Darcy was behind Jane and Bingley's break-up.

Darcy declares himself and Elizabeth chews him out.

Darcy explains himself and tells her how Wickham lied to her. Elizabeth has to re-examine her thinking and prejudices.

Elizabeth runs into Darcy unexpectedly and they start getting on like houses on fire.

Wickham involves Lydia in some danger and/or scandal. Elizabeth tells Darcy about it, and is convinced that whatever feelings he might still have for her are now gone. Naturally, this is when she realizes that she has fallen for him.

Of course, the exact opposite is true. Darcy works to resolve the problem.

Elizabeth finds out, but is still unsure of his feelings for her.

Jane and Bingley get back together.

Darcy declares himself again, and Elizabeth accepts.

Bonus points for:

The girls' mother is embarrassing.

Lydia is obnoxious.

Darcy and Bingley are richer/more successful than Jane and Elizabeth. People fawn all over Darcy, and he finds that annoying. Elizabeth attracts him because she doesn't fawn all over him.

Elizabeth overhears Darcy saying something about her that convinces her that he's a jerk and that he doesn't like her.

Bingley's snobby sister is in love with Darcy, is jealous of Elizabeth, and as a result acts like a bitch.

There is some variant of the Netherfield Ball, where Elizabeth and Darcy interact and she tries to figure him out while her family embarrass her.

Collins is affiliated with Lady Catherine, who is affilated with Darcy; she becomes instrumental in getting the leads back together by warning her off him.

Wickham behaved really badly to Darcy's younger sister and tried to get money out of him.

Wow. That's a lot of plot.

I'm not saying a good adaptation has to have all of the above elements. Some variations, rearrangements, and omissions are allowed, naturally, as long as the core story is maintained. And it should stand on its own, without reference to the source. Bridget Jones's Diary and Clueless^** are really good examples of spin-offs that work. They are wonderful all by themselves, but there's a wink and a nod to those of us who know the originals.

So how did these adapatations fare? To begin with, remember that these three books are teen romances. They are not great literature by any means, and I didn't expect them to be. I expected them to be light, fluffy, and entertaining. They're very quick reads and completely predictable. Bearing all that in mind, off we go.

Image source: www.goodreads.com

Part of the fun of reading modern versions is seeing the parallels to the original and wondering how they are going to adapt the story to the current setting. In fact, I prefer not knowing that a book is supposed to be based on something else until I figure it out for myself. If I hadn't already known Epic Fail was P&P, I might have had fun discovering it. It's not immediately obvious; the title gives no hint and the characters only share initials with their inspirations. It wouldn't take long to figure it out, though. Elise Benton and her sisters Juliana and Layla are new students at a ritzy private school in LA, thanks to the new principal, their embarrassing mother. Enter Chase, a sweet guy who is clearly attracted to Juliana, his catty sister Chelsea, and the stand-offish Derek, son of movie stars, who may or may not like Elise. He clearly dislikes the charming Webster.

Of the three books, this one is my favourite. It hits all the right notes. The updates and misunderstandings feel realistic and aren't awkwardly shoe-horned in to make them fit the P&P template. It's not a perfect slave to the plot: there's no Mr. Collins analogue and only a hint of Charlotte, and our heroes actually get spend some time getting to know each other before the end.

“—but it’s nice to have some time with just us.”

“I know,” he said. “We haven’t had much of that.”

I cautiously checked his face and, to my huge relief, didn’t see any lingering anger or resentment there. “What if we get really bored now that we’re alone together?” I said lightly. “Wouldn’t that be sad?”

“I’m bored already.” He grinned sideways at me.

“Where’s Chelsea Baldwin when you need her?”

“She takes me to my happy place,” he agreed. (Chapter 19)

What really did it for me was the fact that Elise is kind of adorable. She's smart and isn't afraid to be funny, and embodies Elizabeth Bennet's "lively, playful disposition." You can see why Derek falls for her, and why she's attracted to him even though she thinks he's a jerk. I think Epic Fail (the title is the worst part of the book, frankly) perfectly captures one of my favourite quotes from P&P:

Elizabeth, having rather expected to affront him, was amazed at his gallantry; but there was a mixture of sweetness and archness in her manner which made it difficult for her to affront anybody; and Darcy had never been so bewitched by any woman as he was by her. (Chapter 10)

Worth the time spent reading it.

Image source: www.goodreads.com

Next up is a book which, even if you hadn't read the title, clearly announces that it is a P&P spin-off:

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single girl of high standing at Longbourn Academy must be in want of a prom date.

Yes, in Prom and Prejudice, the ultimate goal is to get an invitation to prom. Lizzie Bennet is a scholarship student at Longbourn, an exclusive all-girls finishing school. She is a talented pianist, but her status means that she is constantly bullied by the other students, except for her roommate Jane Netherfield and the other scholarship student Charlotte. Charles Bingley and Will Darcy, and Colin Williams go to the neighbouring all-boys school, Pemberley. George Wickham, aka Wick, was kicked out of said school. With Lydia Netherfield, Caroline Bingley, and Cat de Burgh, the gang's all here.

Aside from some slight changes, this book is quite faithful to the source. Eulberg has adapted almost everything except the embarrassing mother -- poor Jane has to bear the brunt of the shameless family, while Lizzie is looked down upon merely because she is poor. (Mary and Kitty make cameo appearances.) Even the dinner party post-elopement has been recreated. It's pretty well done, and there's a nice twist at the end to somewhat subvert the HAE.

I do have a few problems with it, though. Academically, I can appreciate the almost one-to-one mapping of Austen onto the story, but it sometimes feels a little forced. P&P's bright sparkling tone just isn't there. A lot of that has to do with the main character. Lizzie has a giant, albeit somewhat justified, chip on her shoulder; she's very prejudiced against what she sees as wealthy snobs. That's fine, as far as it goes, but the problem is that she's rather openly rude to Darcy. And is called on it. By Darcy. Often. Aside from her piano-playing, I can't really see why he falls for her.

I was going to rant about the bullying part and lack of teacher involvement and how nobody, not even sweet Jane, tries to stop it which is a thing which always bothers me in popular depictions of school, but I won't.

The book's major crime is that it's not very funny. As an academic exercise, it's quite good, but I don't know that I would recommend it on its own.

Image source: www.goodreads.com

Pride and Popularity is the first of The Jane Austen Diaries, which are retellings of all six books (only the first four have been published). They are all set in the same town and some of the same characters pop up in each book. In the first, Chloe Elizabeth Hart has been prejudiced against popular and charming Taylor Darcy Anderson since he embarrassed her in public when she first moved to town. Three years later, she still thinks he's a jerk. He, on the other hand...

I will start by saying that while it's fun, I kept being pulled out of the story, mostly because the writing is not very good. I think this was another one of those fanfic things that was published online and then picked up. I'm not sure how that works, because it seems like this book never saw an editor. I also thought the main character a bit irritating. While Chloe is supposed to be light-hearted, she keeps blowing everything Taylor says to her out of proportion and arguing with him. She is, to be blunt, kind of a bitch to him. And Taylor just isn't... Darcy. He's a flirt. Oh, he's arrogant in that he expects every girl to be in his fan club, but he's quite friendly. He teases Chloe in the way that small boys torment girls they like: by punching them and running away. The fact that he really likes her comes as a surprise only to Chloe, and then only because she's been denying what everyone tells her.

The usual P&P elements are there, although the Jane/Bingley (here Alyssa & Zack) relationship gets about as much page-time as Charlotte/Collins (Madison & Collin). The plot flows more or less naturally, but every now and then it's like James said "Oh, I have to do this part of P&P now" and ka-thunk, we are treated to awkward rewrites of some of my favourite quotes:

"Now here’s the problem,” Dad continued. “She wants you grounded if you don’t accept Collin.”

I grimaced. They can’t force me to be the guy’s girlfriend, can they?

“And I will ground you if you do,” Dad finished. (Chapter 15)

Up to this point, the mother had seemed fairly normal, other than insisting that Chloe go out with Collin on a single date. But now she wants Chloe to be his girlfriend? Where did that come from? The entire book is like that. It tries too hard. I don't think I'd recommend this outside of academic interest. Incidentally, Persuaded is a much more natural retelling of Persuasion, and I have high hopes for Northanger Alibi since the Catherine character is a huge Twilight fan, which seems like the perfect update.

I was hoping my next review would be a little more high-brow, but I got sucked into reading another book that I thought was a teen romance, but it turns out... well, I'll leave that for next time.

(See Lizzie Bennet Diaries? I can do cliffhangers too!)

^*And yes, we knew that it was a remake of Little Shop Around the Corner. I'm not really sure why Dad was so fixated on the Meg Ryan version.

^**Yes, I know. Emma. As you were.